


something new.

by no5simp



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet, Bittersweet Ending, Break Up, M/M, One Shot, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:13:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27694655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/no5simp/pseuds/no5simp
Summary: “Why did you stop?”“I don’t know.”
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	something new.

**Author's Note:**

> I was sad and decided to just throw something together, definitely not the best but I think it's readable so I figured why not post it. If there's any spelling/grammatical errors please let me know :)

Akaashi squinted through darkness to see two hands loosely entwined, following the arm up to the man beside him. He was laying with his back to him, Keiji slowly removing his hand and running it through the black and grey mass of hair.

He picked up the man’s hand again, observing his knuckles as he turned onto his back, running his fingers gently over small scars and bitten down fingernails. His gaze traveled to the guitars hung on their wall, smiling softly as he remembered all of the cheesy songs, late nights, shitty home recordings and camp-fire sing-alongs. His smile faltered and his eyebrows fell as his mind wandered, taking him to the same dark place it always did. 

Keiji shut his eyes with a shaky deep breath, squeezing his partner’s hand. He hugged it to his chest, breathing shallowly and slowly, his eyes shutting tighter. 

Kou’s breathing lost it’s rhythm as he stirred awake, turning to look at Akaashi. “You okay?” He whispered, running his thumb along Keiji’s.

“Yeah, sorry.” Keiji whispered in return, lifting an arm to wipe his eyes.

“Another nightmare?”

“No, not this time.”

Bokuto frowned, his hand mindlessly carding through thick black hair. “Wanna talk about it?”

Akaashi sighed, refusing to look at him despite how badly he wanted to. His jaw stung and his throat pounded at the same pace his head did. “Not right now.”

“I love you.”

“You should get back to sleep, you have an early practice tomorrow.”

“Okay, I love you.” Bokuto whispered, his eyes fluttering shut.

Akaashi’s lips stayed stuck together, his eyes burning.

“Kaashi?”

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

He sighed, biting his lip. “I love you too.”

“You didn’t mean that.” Bokuto decided, his hot skin peeling from Keiji’s as he sat up, their grey comforter falling to his waist. 

“Kou,”

“You didn’t mean it. You haven’t meant it for a while.” He interrupted, thick eyebrows glued just too far down. 

He pushed off the blankets, placing his head in his hands, the heels of his palms digging into his eye sockets to keep tears from falling. “I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

Keiji moved his head to glance at him, his heart ripping at the man’s expression. “What?”

“Why did you stop?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do I not write you enough songs anymore? Go on enough dates? I know I’ve been busy but I can rearrange things and we can maybe go pick peaches like we used to and-”

“Koutarou.” Keiji sighed, gently taking his hand. “You’ve done everything right. I don’t know why I stopped. You’re perfect, just, not for me.”

He heard Bokuto’s thick swallow, waiting way too long for a response.

“Okay.”

Keiji’s jaw only clenched tighter as he watched Bokuto turn and hang his legs off the mattress, gathering his pillows and unplugging his phone. He stood up, straightening out his side of the blanket, staring at Akaashi once he finished. He patted his side of the bed once before opening the door to the living room and shutting it silently. 

Keiji sat in the dark, cold silence that filled his once warm and vibrant room. Thick tears finally dropped, not bothered enough to stop the stinging. His breaths began to shake, eventually turning to silent sobs. He stared at Bokuto’s side of the room, at the rings on his night stand littered with bent guitar picks, charging cables and a book Keiji had given him to read, a tissue making the 3/4ths of it he had read, despite how hard it was for him. 

He dropped his feet off the edge, slowly standing and opening the door. “Kou?” He whispered, hearing the man shift on the couch. “Can I sit?”

The shadow sat up, tugging a soft blanket with him. Keiji sat on the unoccupied half of the couch.

“I’ve just felt like you can do better, I’m always working and I feel like I can’t give you what you need. I can’t give anyone what they need, not even myself.” He muttered, a bittersweet chuckle following. “I do love you, but I can’t tell you that and make you think we’re okay.”

Bokuto waited to reply, trying to formulate a response, his brain forgetting which order the words needed to go in as he desperately tried to tell him that they were okay.

“‘Kaashi, you’re giving me more than enough. I’m happy with you, and we have a home and I’ve been so in love with you for so long. If you need more time to yourself I can try to pick up extra hours here and there. You’re what I need.”

“That’s the problem. We’ve been in love for so long. Don’t you want something new? Something refreshing? I’m holding you back.”

“I don’t want something new. You’re the best person I’ve ever dated.”

“Let’s just,” Keiji paused, taking a deep breath. “Take a break. Not forever. I need time for myself and I want you to be sure you don’t want something new, okay?”

Kou hesitantly nodded. “Okay.”


End file.
